After my last break up… i can’t quite cry at weddings without people thinking that i’m crying because im NOT the one getting married? I’ve shed a few tears at a few weddings last year and this year, mainly at my COUSINS’ wedding and a few of my good friends. And everytime those around me saw me cry, the person NEAREST to me would pat me gently on my back and go ‘It’s your turn soon, ada tu krg, don’t worry’..

and in my head, ill be like:
“Terima kasih ah mendoakan ah.. but im not crying because of my UNCERTAIN FATE, im crying because yang kawin ani 1st COUSIN ku dangan ku bemain lagi damit!?!?!?! SKALI YA ANI BASAR SUDAH KAWIN YA SUDAH, MCM MIMPI BAH KAMI BEMAIN MASAK MASAK LAGI DAMIT ATU.. skali aku menangis pasalnya..SIAPA TAH DANGAN KU BEMAIN MASA MASAK NI??? SIAPA JADI MAMA SIAPA JADI BAPA SIAPA JADI ANAK???”

but instead, i would usually just brush these comments off with a half smile.

mana lagi yang PENGANTIN sendiri yang becakap. but its ok, i understand that it’s your special day, and the universe on this day is forced to REVOLVE around you..and so im going to let this pass, wipe my tears off , wave my middle finger at you when no one is looking and say “selamat pengantin baru.. semoga bahagia ke anak cucu..sama SEBENARNYA, MAKE UP MU BIDA!!”

banar jua tu, mun ku KAN MENANGIS pasal KU BALUM KAWIN.. I CAN DO IT IN MY OWN TIME THANK YOU VERY MUCH..(which i don’t by the way. cause im perfectly happy where i am now) BEHAPA TAH LAGI DAPAN ORG..LIKE THAT WOULD GET ME KAWIN ANI FASTER? think about it. sigh.

u think being asked when it’s going to be your turn is OFFENSIVE???????

ani lagi kejiwa rasanya, menusuk kalbu. yatah, pasal ani..aku nda dpt menangis lagi time org kawin.

nda papa ku simpan saja tangis ku ani didalam butul bagi ex boyfren ku minum. lolol.

lol. on another note,

Selamat Pengantin Baru Mun & husband, semoga kekal ke anak cucu. AMIN. 🙂

Oh. To Diya & Azam too, Selamat pengantin baru 🙂

kiss me.