7 days into 2021.

One week into 2021. I read somewhere that the best thing is not to make ‘resolutions’ but to set ‘intentions’ instead. This is because the latter is much more attainable and doesn’t leave you feeling guilty when you can’t accomplish them. I guess it’s similar to the “one day at a time” approach. Hari ani, aku cuba nda marah marah arah Zalora pasal package ku balum datang. I’m on a winning streak cause i’ve been able to hold it in since Monday.

see. small wins. hooray.

it’s Thursday. Where did the week go? I’m here listening to people make “intelligent” arguments about Webex test runs.

First thing i’m going to do once the pandemic is over is get the hell out of this country. I wonder if i had stayed at my old job would i be posted kah by now? or would I be assigned to endure another long stretch of domestic meetings. The idea of being posted is just so good right now.

oh well it is what it is kan. life takes you to unexpected paths and right now, i am more than happy to see where it’s going to take me.

ok bye.

Running essentials for the basic running bitch.

Not that anyone asked but I thought I’d share some of my running essentials. I’ve used these names for the last 10 years and they have worked pretty well for me.



Let’s start with a good bra. Boobs bouncing everywhere isn’t exactly a good look. Trust me on this.I honestly envy gals who can just buy bras from just anyone and anywhere. It’s always been a bit of challenge for me in this area. Mcm show off jua bunyinya aku atu ah? but it’s a poisoned chalice. So if you’re heavy at the top you would need extra support. I recommend the “Shock Absorber”. I swear on the Booble! that’s the name of the brand. I’ve worn them for long distance and faster interval runs and I find that they give my boobs just the right amount of support and i have experienced no chafing. I get mine online usually on sale from figleaves.com




Find yourself the right type of bra from their line by taking the quiz on the shockabsorber website. please google. tq.

Compression tights. life changing. I only buy 2XU now (and the occasional Alo Yoga for lighter workouts at the gym and Hot Yoga cos they feel like BUTTER) but for running I stand by 2XU. My first introduction to compressions were a pair of ASICS. Prior to that I wore standard Nike leggings so you could imagine how life changing it was for me to discover COMPRESSION LEGGINGS. Why compression? it reduces muscles soreness , helps with recovery and most importantly sucks u up in all the right places. I buy 2XU on repeat because they last forever and they stay tight on your hips much longer than any other leggings that are in the market. I do feel that they’re a little bit on the steep side $$ but they’re worth every penny.




Shopping Hack: get them on sale on Zalora. they usually have coupons or have sales at the start/end of every month. If you’re lucky you can get up to 40 bucks off a pair.

I’m a Nike gal. So for running shirts and shoes I gravitate towards the big tick energy. I like the older V neck running shirts but I notice that they don’t really make them anymore and most of their running shirts these days have round collars which I don’t find flattering on my body. However, I’ve recently bought several shirts from the Nike Miler collection cause of the bright pinks , blues, and purples. Great for visibility when you’re running late in the evenings or early in the mornings. The material’s a bit on the thin side so this may be a bit of a nuisance for my akak akak hijabis. You can always layer something underneath it. If you want something that is a little bit more solid, breathable and versatile 2XU does offer a good selection but the colors aren’t as fun. But hey like buying a Kitchen Aid over a Kenwood it boils down to aesthetics vs functionality. lol.


Where to buy; Huaho Manggis Mall. I got mine off the Nike Malaysia site and got it delivered to Brunei via a third party delivery service based in Labuan. I did go through a Stella McCartney Adidas phase but that was short-lived cause I found that the t-shirt material was too heavy for tropical runs. But don’t get me wrong, If I had the means and if I can work out in just a bra I would still buy every item in her collection.

Watch. I think I mentioned that for the last 10 years I have always been running with my phone but I got a Garmin recently? if you run with music, it’s a good idea to get this. I’ve had it for 2 months now and I’m pretty happy with it. I got my Forerunner 245 Music at the Garmin store @ 1riv. They’re just as ground breaking as the compression pants. It took me a while to get them cause I don’t really wear watches and I was concerned that these sports watches made me look butch. Lol. Initially, I thought I’d just wear it for my runs but I’ve been wearing it daily and on days I want to feel a little pretty I’ll just stack it with a bunch of “girly” bracelets.

Now on the topic of SHOES. They say give the girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world? Give me Nikes! I started my journey with Nike. So it holds sentimental value to me. Previously it was all about barefoot running but cushioning has been making quite the comeback. I am currently loving the Zoom Fly 3 and the Nike React Infinity. They’re well cushioned like a sofa but still feels light-weight making them super comfortable for long runs. Although if you have wide feet, they might take a while to break into. So I would suggest going a size up or taking them on very long walks on the beach before taking them for a long-distance session.

Don’t tell anyone but I secretly have soft spot for the Adidas Ultraboost for long runs 😛



Throw in a pair of China-made Bluetooth earphones and you are ready to get out there. Anyway, I hope you guys find this helpful. This is just a guide and what I would normally wear. Banarnya apa saja comfortable pun ok…most importantly: 1. LADIES, BAJU DALAM MESTI TAGAP. 2. JANGAN BESELIPAR, GET A GOOD PAIR OF SHOES 3. JANGAN TELANJANG!!!!!!!!

Happy new year everyone! Drink lots of water!

Kiss me.

Bangar 21km…..tia karang.

I ran my first half marathon in 2017. It was my “come back” after a year of hiatus. It was the first week of October. The weather was still warm-ish with scattered rains which would later in the week bring an an autumn hue to the foliage.

The 21km route kicked off at the Parc du Cinquantenaire and ended at Grand Place. I ran on cobbled streets and past roads studded with art-deco and art-nouveau buildings and landmarks like the Royal Place, Church of Notre Dame Du and the art deco masterpiece Villa Empain. It was a charming run which i completed in 2hrs 46minutes at a pace of 7.3km/h. It wasn’t bad considering that I had never ran beyond 15km prior to the race. The cool weather certainly helped.

Fast forward to three years later, I find myself huffing and puffing as i struggle to run up one of the hilliest hills i’ve ever come across in my life. I have been training for this, but unfortunately i wasn’t prepared for what’s to come. None of these hills were anything close to the ones in Bandar. Not even the 4:45am hill intervals that i’ve been waking up for past couple of months could have prepared me for this. I had seriously underestimated the running route by 150%. Who knew Bangar was that hilly????????????? I didn’t.

Ok. i lie. I think the hill training did save me a little bit. It helped me run every single bukit that came in the way without cramping. I thought i was doing pretty okay when at 18km my friend pacer told me that we could be running more than 21km. “HOW MANY EXTRA MILES!?” i snapped. He responded by putting up 4 fingers. i instantly knew i was doomed for failure.

It went downhill from here (pun soooo not intended). My poor legs had registered the new information and the next thing i knew i had greatly slowed down my pace. My mind was now on a constant loop of “shit 3km lagi.. and even then i would still be nowhere near the finishing line”. So i made a decision to crash through it and stop my clock at 21km. on the dot.

I completed the 21 at just 2hrs and 28 min at a pace of 7km/h and walked all the way to the finish line. At that point i was disappointed but considering the rough terrain.. i thought i did pretty well. I will be back for you next time Bangar.

If only i was aware of the additional miles i would’ve sequenced my pace differently..all i wanted was to finish strong all the way to the finishing line but i guess luck wasn’t on my side.

It’s normal for marathons to go a little bit over pulang but by 3-4km…..? do you even run bro?

All in all, it’s been an awesome year for running.

I am 45 secs away from a sub 30min 5k and 4 minutes away from a sub 60min 10k and i love celebrating these little successes along the way. I’ve always enjoyed running and this year’s running success has cemented my love for the concrete roads even more.

kiss me.

ps: aku nda tau cemana kawanku atu teambil gambar lagi. mantap napas nya ee.

cuti.

My leave has just been approved! Alhamdulillah. So over the moon that I am allowed to take it. I plan to spend the two weeks catching up with sleep, netflix and a liiiiittle bit of distance running squeezed in between.And if the lodgings aren’t full, I might head down to Temburong for a rainforest adventure… by adventure i mean tidur but just in a different environment.

i love sleep.

tadi banyak kan ku tulis. ani nada lagi. mungkin aku lapar.

ok byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

selasai sudah.

Just done with meetings for the year. This is how i feel during the meetings:
stress
hungry all the time
tired
stress
hungry.
stress no excercise.
tired
sleepy.
hungry. hungry.hungry.

How i feel post meetings:
tired.
fat.
tired.
unfit.

the struggle is real. you’d think things would be slightly different now that things have been taken up virtually. inda. sama saja. but i guess the good thing is that it only goes on for a shorter period of time. if they were physical meeting i’d be going without excercise and proper sleep for weeks.

so now. im trying to get back on my feet. a colleague ordered everyone chips earlier today. so that kinda threw me off a little bit. macam how can you say no to perfectly fried hot chips? i’m meant to keep my carb intake under 70g today. tapi mcm nada harapan. i had gone over. way over. but its ok gais, i didnt just stuff my head into a bag of chips without a plan. i HAD planned on running it off. but i’m hearing rolls of thunder as i type this. ok fudge. no running. again. for the second time this week. ok. this will mean that i will have to face the music of digesting potato mush without the help of esesais. to the colleague who offered me chips..i hope you…burn……….have a good life.

i gained 2kilos from working late nights for a week. i need to lose it and improve my fitness before the 21km brunei halfies im running on the 6th. currently im sitting on 2hrs 25minutes. i’d love to see myself complete a half marathon at under 2hours. looks like a far cry. but possible…IF I START SAYING NO TO CHIPS.

ok adios. kiss me.

putin melania puns and pigeons

prior to today i didnt even realise putin melania memes were a thing. i am not at all surprised but i can’t believe ive just missed out on a whole category of memes. i love memes. i love memes, gifs and people who know when and where to use them. lol.

ok i just wanted to write for a bit to take my mind off work.

guess i am stalin.

courage

i thought i had something “philosophical” to write about today. by philosophical i mean end of the week rants. it has been a gruesome week at work with last minute meetings popping up like youtube ads. i have one tomorrow at 10am. yes on a freaking Sunday. it’s a virtual meeting, but it’s still work and it’s eating into my leisure-time. believe it or not I have been denied time off work because these meetings are “virtual” so they apparently don’t account for “real work”. if that’s the case then here is my “report” *hands in a blank sheet of paper* . here is my “brief” *hands in a file of blank papers*. sila meninggal please.

this pandemic has forced us to change the way we work. tani nya yang change tapi operational guidelines nya masih sama. so for how long will we be spending our “weekends” working without being compensated? getting financially compensated is nice, but for now i think i’d settle for the bare minimum: being granted time off. how i wish people could be a little bit more compassionate and be more intuitive to the needs of people around them?. why can’t we normalize “quality time” without coming off as being lazy or entitled? not to mention, mental health should be prioritized too. there’s no point jua expecting people to deliver excellence when they are burnt out. I’m at my best when im well rested.

thing is, if they can’t make you feel valued at work… lol at least let them have proper rest? amah ku tidur kul 8malam jua. nda kami ngacau kecuali kami lupa bawa kunci rumah…he he he. mun kan mau nasi lapas kul 8.. jantah harap. masak tah sendiri please.

oh well atu tah saja grievances ku hari ani. other than that i am okay-ish with work these days. it’s a little bit more peaceful than what it used to be.. i’m not as anxious about it. maybe it’s the forced travelling ban that has made it somewhat bearable. i hated the travelling part. dont get me wrong, it was fun for maybe the first 3 years… and then the novelty just dipped after that. ive been lucky enough to visit countries that i dont think i’d go on my own… but what’s the point when the catch is always work?

i think im burnt out. im so close to quitting. not because i hate my job. i’m just tired. demotivated. exhausted. ngalih ku ngalih. and it’s also that urge of wanting to try out something new? i love the theatrics and gossip that comes with international relations…. tp mau jua ku meliat sinetron lain kan? i’m going to have to dig deep and find the courage to do what i want despite the fear-mongering voices around me.

i’m 35. it’s time to do what I want to do.

yawn.

It’s the last stretch of the year, which means work is piling but grateful for the light at the end of the tunnel (which is the 20th of November) lol. I am also grateful that I don’t have to travel for work this time around. Which means, despite my crazy workload I can still keep my routine. yay.

I’m just thinking about what the remaining days of the year would look like. I haven’t got anything planned but maybe I should do a pop-up for my brownies or something. At least there will be something to look forward to. I’ve been meaning to have a bake sale for a while now but social distancing got in the way. And apart from Munah my only “kitchen staff”…. I am short-staffed. lol. technically Munah isn’t even under me. She’s employed by my Babu. lol. So it’s actuallynya means it’s just me running my own shit and losing my shit (sometimes)!!!!!. I really don’t know how she does it. She does the cleaning for the household, the washing.. and once every two weeks she helps me out for brownies. baik tah check weewee nya kali, tau tau besabu. huhu.


hey my first joke. in ages. *slow clap*

I’ve just realized that i haven’t been as funny. aku mellow sudah tua tua ani. I’ve just been self-reflecting a lot in my writings. kali target audience ku pun berubah sudah… i’m trying to appeal to the “mellowed out – banyak masaalah – tapi bawa besabar dan berdzikir” market segment. hahaha. Who else feels the same way? hahaha.

These days i run from drama. If you see me running on the road i am definitely setting myself free from whatever drama that has “found” me during the day. hahaha. sebenarnya running doesn’t solve problems. it’s like getting likes on instagram, it’s merely a form of instant gratification. the endorphins make you feel a little bit better and tricks you into thinking that your problem is over… tapi sebenarnya it’s far from it. lol. which is why you should always go back to it when you’re sober. journalling helps. but just like getting likes on my ig feed, i still love running.

I am glad i had picked it up in my twenties. i think back then i was travelling alot for work kali and i needed something to anchor me to my fitness. i figured kalau belari i would only need a pair of sneakers.

I finally bought a Garmin. and i am in love with it. it plays music too which means that i do not have to lug my iphone on my runs anymore. barat kali ah iphone ani.. mcm memakai weighted vest bah tu belusir. haha.

i dont know why i didnt purchase one sooner. god knows how many iphones ive gone through over the last 10 years. banyak. pasalnya ia lakas rusak cos over-time it gets soaked in my sweat and tears and i also have a maniacal tendency of dropping it…like it’s hot.

hehe.

i’ll be taking the watch for its first 21km tomorrow.

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

ok bye.

Safe spaces.

Don’t you just love the freedom of being in a place and not having to worry about bad encounters or experiences? Macam you mentally cordon off a small safe space for yourself … this could be your bedroom, kitchen or even a parking spot at the office that you label as a stress-free zone. A spot where you are at your most comfortable and where you know that nothing can come between you and your inner peace.

It is only when these spaces are invaded that you realize how attachment and expectations placed on something sucks. you will always (almost) end up getting disappointed.

So one of my spots got invaded recently and I’ve been quite affected by it. I’m sure a new sanctuary isn’t a hard find…but this time, i feel.. mcm why should i? i was here first.

gah. just felt like writing down my feelings today.

that’s all.

midweek blues.

it’s Wednesday. we’re halfway through the week already!

Nothing much happening this week other than the usual things. Hoping that things will pick-up. A splash of good news would be good.

I’m also thinking of ways on how to make this week better for me. When things get super humdrum.. i have started a habit of setting small goals for myself… easily attainable ones.. jangan jua yang mcm berabis berabis payah atu mcm membali rumah 10 bilik atas bukit, jadi bidadari.., menangkap bulan……..atu membari stress jua tu mamanyaa. Just to give you an idea here are my small goals this week:

– cut down sugar.
– bangun sembahyang malam (at least 2 kali)
– stay on low carbs just until Saturday.
– run 3 more times.
– donate to charity.
– try not to give a shit about what people think
– mind my own business.
– reduce screen time by 50%.

well for today, I’m just trying not to eat the Twix that has been sitting in my drawer and maybe get a run in later in the afternoon.

[insert funny thumbs up whatsapp sticker yang cali here]

kiss me.